Beginning to get confused again and have questions

[fearless]

Tessa,

You sound so great in this posting!!! I think you are making some incredible changes and becoming aware of how much control you do have in your M.

So I'm thinking about a win-win solution.

i love this thought. That's always been my approach. Not asking my H to give up something or do something he doesn't want to but to see how we can both have what we want. Even though it hasn't worked with him, I still believe it's the best way to work through things.

When we were dating, I was a person that made things happen and got things done. Then I stopped doing that and looked to him to take over when he didn't want to. But it's ok, I can be that person again.

Have you looked at the 5 Love Languages? I took the quiz yesterday and even though I knew my top LL I was a little surprised that I had two LL that were equal. It actually explained some things for me. If things are getting better with your h it may be a good opportunity for both of you to take the quiz on the site below.

http://www.greaterquest.com/lovelanguages.asp

I'm feeling confident that I make this marriage work, if my H decides he wants to commit to it again. I see so many things I did wrong, but more importantly, I see what changes need to be made to not repeat those things again. I can have some control in whether this works or not, just by controlling myself..........

isn't it empowering to realize how much of a difference we can make by ourselves, rather than looking outside at everyone else??? of course your h has made his own mistakes but it's really not useful to dwell on somethign that you cannot change!!

I'm so glad to see how well you are doing!!