I wasn't going to post again tonight, but here I am.

I wish I was feeling more detached. The positives that have been happening lately are wonderful, I love them. But it's really interfering w/my ability to detach. At one point in time I wasn't even sure if I still loved my H. It's like I had been hurt and I wasn't getting anything that I needed from him and I was beginning to get worried that I didn't love him anymore. But once he started being affectionate w/me again, all those feelings of love just came rushing back. It's not really a good thing because I'm not at all detaching. I definately do not want to overwhelm him and scare him away.

This is a confusing time for me. In the beginning, the rules were clear. Basically leave him alone. But now I'm at the point where I feel that I need to feed his affection and show him that I can meet his needs. So I'm trying to balance being loving, kind and open w/not pressuring him or pursueing him.

I had forgotten how rough things were for you at the beginning because you've had some great interactions recently. Man, I would kill for a kiss right now I'm so jealous of your "date" with H last week!!

Thanks Fearless for reminding me. I had forgotten too how things had been. I was having a difficult time seeing the progress because I forgot where I came from.

Fearless dear, you will get your kiss -- when you do, enjoy it in the moment........I'm pulling for ya girl...
TJ