Hey Tess,

For me the first step wasn't necessarily eliminating them but just relaxing exactly what the expectations were. Then I worked to gradually remove my expectations. Plus think about the good things that have happened that you didn't expect. Being more open to letting good things happen on his terms made it easier too. I could see that being relaxed made a difference around him.

Not sure I'm doing the best job of it but it is getting better.

I know it's frustrating to think you missed some evenings with your H but I think it's great that he told you because it let's you know that he has noticed. He seems to have liked it since it didn't stop him from going to dinner with you and moving in for the kiss.

it's important with this process to remember the main goal - getting the marriage back on track and improving it. When you get caught up in how you think things should be or with wanting to be right, it distracts from the main goal. I use that to help me with reducing expectations. Plus I remember that this is my choice to hold on to the marriage so if I do choose that being "right" is most important, I can do that at any time.

Thanks so much for your support on my thread. I hope to start running again I feel like my thoughts are even more muddled than usual!!



But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus