Thanks Fearless.... I loved NY descriptions of the speed of slow --
Quote: One thought I've had with reading a lot of threads here. I think a lot of us "forget" that our spouses can have as many ups and downs as we do. That's why it's so important for us to gloss over their down days and just see them as "blips". And use the up days to sustain our "as if" attitude.
I totally agree. I think we often get too wrapped up in our own emotions to see what they may be feeling. I expected my H to just make a decision that his marriage was important and then just come back home and forget about OW.
I have since been able to see that it is so much more involved. There is the fact that the OW has become an important friend to him, whether I like it or not. To come back home, he loses that friendship. And he will feel sadness and hurt for that loss. Then there is his own guilt and shame. He once told me that he couldn't come home because he couldn't forgive himself. Plus, there is the fear and anxiety of facing "my people". (Family and friends). Plus so many more things that are hidden beneath the surface. It's just frustrating that I can't help him.
But I truly am feeling much better. I love this time of year. There's something about cruising along w/the windows rolled down, the wind blowing through my hair, and the radio up loud.
And then for a little GAL activity, my best friend and I walked our dogs together. It was great to be out in the sunshine and trees away from traffic and noise. It's relaxing to watch the current in the river as the water ripples past. And to have the companionship of a good friend. However, it's quite ironic -- my H has started communicating w/this friend via instant messaging. My WAH gave my friend relationship advice. He told her to ignore the guy that cycles between getting close to her and then running away. That by ignoring him, there is a chance it will pull him in closer and if not, then she knows the relationship is over. Hmmmmmmmm - Doesn't that concept sound familiar? I think my H just indirectly told me what I need to do, which is of course what DR and my friends here have been telling me all along.
I just find it humerous that my best friend is getting relationship advice from my WAH - and it's good advice. I never would of thought.............
