Beginning to get confused again and have questions

[fearless]

Tessa, You sound so much better. You've obviously done a lot of reflection and you're doing some great work on yourself. I've been trying to be more "self aware".

I pasted the Madatory Dos and Don'ts for DBing on my thread but I thought I'd put it here too for you and others on this forum.


MANDATORY DO'S WHEN DIVORCE BUSTING
1. Be patient. Time is an assest even when it seems to be killing you.
2. Listen carefully to what your spouse is REALLY saying to you.
3. Learn quickly that anger is your enemy
4. Learn quickly to backoff, shut up and walk away when you want to speak out.
5. Take care of yourself. Exercise, sleep, laugh, and focus on all the other chances in your life that are not in turmoil.
6. Be cool, strong, confident and speak softly.
7. Know that if you can do a 180, your smallest consistent actions will be noticed much more than ANY words you can say or write.
8. Read as much as you can on this subject

MANDATORY DON'T's WHEN DIVORCE BUSTING
1. Do not be openly desperate or needy even when you are hurting more then ever in your whole life and are desperate and needy.
2. Do not focus on your self when communicating with your spouse.
3. Do not believe any of what you hear and less then 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute neagatives because they are hurting and they are scared.
4. Do not fall into the "green eggs and ham" trap. (see Dr. Suess for clarity)
5. Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel.
6. Do not backslide from your hard earned changes.


Have a great day with your family