You need to find something that relieve the anxiety so you can feel more in control. For me, running is what I started doing.
I have actually been thinking about running for quite awhile. I'm not in very good shape though, but I guess everyone has to start somewhere. I'd have to start out alternating between running and walking. My golden retriever is out of shape too, so him and I could build up our stamina together. It would do both of us good! Then it won't be so bad leaving him alone while I work 12 hour shifts.
I know that I do need to stay in control. H has taken steps towards me and I can't continue to let my emotions get out of control so that he runs in the opposite direction.
He did call me tonight. He actually called twice. The first time I was on the phone w/my friend and we agreed that I would call him back. He ended up calling me again, I guess I didn't call back soon enough. He asked me if I had gotten the flowers for tomorrow (Mother's Day, for my family). He told me he was dissappointed that he wouldn't be able to pick the hanging baskets out this year. My family has opted to eat out for Mother's day. I told H that and told him he was welcome to join us if he wanted to. He replied it depended on if he had to work overtime as his name was once again at the top of the list. (It's not an excuse, they have been having a staffing issue for awhile) I'm just going to leave it at that. If he doesn't have to work and wants to go, he knows how to call me.
7 weeks ago when I started DBing, I made it a rule not to initiate any contact w/H. Then he started contacting me and I relaxed that rule way too much. I'm going back to that rule. I'll give him space. He's admitted to missing me a few times, so I need to give him room to miss me more.
