Whenever you feel overwhelmed, keep in mind that you may be thinking of too much too soon too fast, and develop the habit of taking it one moment at a time.
This is exactly what happens. I think of everything and I overwhelm myself and I don't do anything. This has been going on for several years and one of the problems for my M. No H likes coming home to chaos. And for a long time that is what faced my H when he walked in the door. I can't fault him for it at all as he tried very hard for quite some time and then just gave up.
This feeling of being overwhelmed starts w/my home and then spreads out from there. I keep thinking of all the things I need to do and I'm not looking around me to see how far I have come. My home is much, much cleaner. My overall attitute has improved. I've learned ways to deal w/my quick temper (wow, how did you know that) and I've been successful at implementing them. I'm generally happier than I have been in a long time. My circle of friends is growing. I'm going out almost every weekend w/friends. I've lost weight and bought a few new aricles of clothing. I've bought new makeup and wear it everyday. I ordered a new computer and a new internet service, as well as, connected the modem and wireless router by myself (sometimes I have difficulty getting the VCR to work). Wow, I have come along way from the person I used to be.
My Mom says I "short-change" myself and put myself down too much. And I know she's right. I set high standards for myself, standards so high that it is impossible to reach them. Then I think of all the ways I don't measure up to these standards and get overwhelmed and then anxious.
Wow, I started this DBing thing to get my H and M back, I didn't realize at that time that it would be about getting me back. The person that I liked being. The person that my H liked to be around. H once told his Mom that he just wanted the Tessa back that he fell in love with. I see now how important that statement was as it tells me exactly what he wants from me. So I think I may finally be getting it. This is not about whether or not my M works out. This is about me becoming a better person, one small step at a time.
