Beginning to get confused again and have questions

[fearless]

I have so many things that I want to change and improve and I don't seem to make much progress in any direction.

I know exactly how that feels!!! i used to overwhelm myself with long lists of all I wanted to accomplish (my mom was the same way:)) No matter what I accomplished it never seemed like enough because there was so much left on my list. I've focused on much smaller goals that will take me in the direction I want to go. I'm amazed at how different I feel right now compared to a year ago. I don't feel like I've had any sudden changes - it's all been small gradual changes that have added up. For me, just staying focused on small improvements has been the key.

As far as the anxiety. You need to find something that relieve the anxiety so you can feel more in control. For me, running is what I started doing. I just start on January 1. It had been almost 4 years since I ran before. For me it is a great anxiety reducer and I love it. The best thing for me is that a good long run will hold me for a couple of days! if running isn't your thing, there are lots of things that might work for you - experiment. I know it's tough but for your sake you need a way to control the anxiety.

hang in there. We'll figure our way through this mess and be even better people than we were before