Many of us walk this path - my saviour was Sage's idea of listing positives everyday on my thread. It helped me re-wire my thinking so I was looking for positives, and forgot about the negative-hunting habit.
Thank you Slowly! I find this a very good idea. I am going to try this.
So far I have not called or sent H a text message. The worst part of the day is yet to come (evening). So to avoid doing this:
Call my friend - already called once but she must still be sleeping (works nightshift) so I'll try again later
Walk my dog - but I will have to make sure my route does not take me by where H is staying
Paint, paint, paint - I have to get this kitchen done by Memorial day weekend.
Finish paper work and pay bills (paying bills has been hard because it makes me think of H. But instead of thinking about the negative thougths about how we are seperated, I will think only about the positive fact that H wants to continue keeping a joint account and contributing 100% to paying the bills.)
If any of that doesn't work - I will stop any negative thoughts that he is w/OW and replace them with thoughts that maybe he is once again doing something w/one of his guy friends. (that is what he has done the last several Friday evenings he hasn't been at work - I know that because he volunteered the information).
So to put me in the right mindset to get through this evening without getting sucked into negative thoughts, I'll list the postives:
H has been calling and/or stopping in several times a week. H has again told me that he wants to establish a friendship with me. H told me that he felt we were currently building that friendship. H told me that he feels that things between us have improved alot. H started instant messaging me on the computer last night. He chatted with me for quite some time.
I am also working on my PMA. Today I:
Scheduled an appointment for a haircut w/highlights Scheduled a massage (H gave me a gift cert. for Christmas and I haven't used it yet) Completed several items on my "procrastination list". Procrastinating is a huge problem for me, so seeing the list get smaller and not adding anymore to it, is making me feel alot better
And next week I have more things I can do
So my goal is to get through this evening without initiating contact to H!!!
I'm thinking about starting to wear my engagement ring again to have a visual to remind me what my DBing efforts are for so that I stick to them without fail. H has my wedding band. He found it after I threw it at him out of anger and put it on his key ring w/his band. That's were they both have stayed. It's weird......but not worth wondering about.
Just gotta get through this evening....One day at a time, and tomorrow's another day. TJ
