Once again NY, you have opened my eyes and showed me that I am wallowing in self-pity and need to STOP!
I'll mention this again. We seem to think our actions have a negligible effect on others, if at all, but that's not true.
Forgive me as sometimes I need to be told things several times. Not to be arrogant, but I am an intelligent person, I just have a thick skull so some things don't sink in on the first try.
I need to let go of the OW. I still have a lot of feelings of anger towards her and I know that it is doing nothing but hurting me. I need to get over it!!
Another big problem for me right now is the fact that I am continueing the same old behavior of focusing on the negative. That old behavior definately caused problems in my marriage and in my career which then spilled over into my marriage. Focusing on the negative only triggers the doubts and fears that then lead to whiny, clingy, it's all about me behavior. As well as checking up on him and obsessing over what he is doing.
So I think I need to hold onto the positives. H wants to establish a friendship and we are enjoying each other's company and getting along well when we are together. I need to take it for what it is and be happy with it. (NY, that's what you've been trying to get me to understand, isn't it?)
After writing out my previous post and reading the reply and allowing time for things to sink in, I think I have come up with a plan to improve myself. I know that I think about this whole situation way too much. I know the rules and I know what things I need to do and what things I need to stay away from. It's time to stop thinking and just let my actions speak for me.
My plan is to put as much effort into GAL as I have been putting into analyzing the situation. I am looking at some things to do to take care of me. Things to improve myself physically. Some of it will be noticeable quickly. While others, like going to the gym/walking dog/eating healthy won't be noticeable as quickly but will improve how I feel about myself.
I am feeling better now. I know it sounds like I'm ungrateful for the things I do have. I'm really not, I just get down sometimes and I find it helpful to vent here. Because then I get constructive feedback that I can process.
