So I don't know what to think. I know it's a good thing that he wants to establish a friendship first. And he did say that he felt we were doing just that. He also said that he felt things between us have improved alot. Which I agree with him. But he's still not home and I am pretty sure he's still communicating w/the OW. That's the part that really gets to me, why he would still communicate with her after admitting to me that he realized she was the reason for our current problems.

No she's not. This is still a matter of being your H's decision. Being with the OW is still preferable to him. This has to do with feelings, not logic. Don't try to find the reason why he should or shouldn't. Instead, present him with the reasons by NOT backsliding, by NOT sending messages that you being nice may just be an act, and stop dwelling on negative thoughts to help stop being a sad sack that he won't want to be around.

Look at the positives! He wants to be a friend and build a friendship! If that's really the case, you've got a foot in the door. Use it WISELY!!!!!!

Sometimes, I'm just scared that he is never coming back.

And before all this happened, you used to think he'd never leave and so did he. Goes to show you shouldn't think things will always be the way they are now. Things can and do change.

So beings that he replied to my conversation with kindness and patience and didn't get angry and upset as he used too, could it be possible that I didn't mess up too bad?

I'll mention this again. We seem to think our actions have a negligible effect on others, if at all, but that's not true. His being gracious and patient doesn't reflect that you hardly slipped necessarily, it reflects the depth of his ability to be gracious and understanding.

My ex was the same way. In her case, she was understanding because it had been done to her once, and she was devastated by him, but the person leaving her cared, and acted understanding in this way to her. But we don't want sympathy and pity and hand holding, we want them back. So we stop backsliding and stay on track with the DB plan.

I was tired of being nice in regards to the situation that we were in. I know - it was still a bad thing to talk about. He did acknowledge that he understood.

The message that sends me, even though I understand how you feel too, is that you don't have enough patience to bear up with things now that you're the one that's hurting. Things take time, sweetie, and patience is needed.