Slowly - thanks for the encouragement. I think my Mom has a copy of that book. I'll check it out and see.
NY - thank you for the input. Sometimes I forget that this is a slow process and it needs to be that way. At one point in time I told H that I couldn't be his friend if I wasn't his wife (that was before I read DR). Now I do see the importance of re-building a friendship first, then let the relationship follow if it is to be. You have a lot of insight, thank you for sharing.
Update --
I have been away all day. My best girlfriend and I went out and had a blast. A person can't help but have a good time when they are with her. H called this morning, I heard the phone ring but I was too comfortable snuggled up w/my cat to get out of bed and answer it. I was pretty sure that it was him. I didn't call him back - I'm proud of myself for that. So about 15 minutes after he called he sent me a text message telling me to have fun today and that he would call me later this evening. I didn't reply. So then this evening he sent me a text message again but because of the unreliable service I didn't get it until 2 hours after he sent it. I did reply to that one. Then later, he called me. My friend was actually holding my phone so she saw it was H and answered it. She told him we had just stopped at another bar. (She was drinking and I was driving). This whole thing of me going out, particularly to bars is very new. I never did it before. I'm not a big fan of drinking but I go to have a good time laughing at the drunks and I make sure my friend gets home safely. I think this new activity has gotten H attention. He's been asking questions - like where are you, where did you go, are you staying out late, etc... and he never did that before. Then I ended the conversation with him before he had a chance to end it with me - I told him I had to go, my friends were looking for me.
My biggest problem that is hindering my DBing efforts right now is my big mouth. I open it and speak before I think. I need to filter what comes out of my mouth 100% of the time. Right now I'm only managing about 80% of the time. That's not good enough.
I will double my efforts this week at stopping and thinking before saying or doing anything. I must ask myself - If I do this, will it help my efforts or hinder my efforts?
Thanks again everyone....Time for bed....My first day of my new job is tomorrow.....................TJ