All of you are right. Thank you for the honest, constructive advice. I am listening.
I am probably one of the most impatient people in the world (that might be an exaggeration but it surely fits how I feel). I don't want to blow this because of impatience. I have too many positives in response to the work I have already done and I don't want to throw it all out the window.
On nights like last night I just need someone to jump out of my computer and slap me back to sensibility
I would call last night, melt down #2. The good thing is that it wasn't as near as severe as melt down #1 which occurred about a week after I started DBing. I did much more damage to my DBing efforts then as compared to last night and today. It really helped to have a place to come to in which I could type out my feelings knowing I would get constructive feed-back.
I am beginning to feel more confident in myself this evening. I actually spent about 4 1/2 hours w/H today. I evaluate my DBing today at only 75%. But looking at the positives - overall, we had a good time together and he did not get angry or show any signs of disapproval with me today. So I know what I need to do better next time.
So I'm going to write in my DB journal: -Increase efforts at GAL
-Increase efforts to do things for me to develop my PMA
-Remember - the plan is to act as if they are not in contact with each other. The solution to the cell phone bill issue is to not open it until the minute I'm ready to write the check out. Then only look at the amount owed and toss the rest. (Thanks Geronimo)
-No more snooping or checking up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--I need to remember that H has told me on several occassions that he acknowledges the changes in me. He has also told me that he acknowledges that the time we have spent together lately has been enjoyable and we have gotten along together very well.
