Soccermom, Sage and Sun, thank you for your encouragement.
Soccermon - I am sorry to hear about your sitch. I can't say anything to make it better but I do offer my support and encouragement.
Sun - My H has often sent me mixed signals over the last several months and I hear ya, it is confusing and so very frustrating.
I think I have been over-thinking things too much the last two days. Last night I went out with a friend and a group of her friends. Where we were at, they played the song that my H and I had our first dance to on our first date. That triggered thoughts about how he totally adored me from that first date on. It made me sad as I compared then to the last several months, where he has given his adoration and affection to someone else. So I was letting those feelings trigger doubts about the progress that we've made.
My biggest source of insecurity right now is that we really don't have that much to say to each other when he does call me. From the looks of the cell phone bill and the # of minutes H has used each month, he and the OW have had quite a lot to talk about. I think conversation in general is important to him and I'm worried that I'm not meeting that need to the extent that OW has. Sometimes he is very talkative to me and sometimes he is not. The last two days he hasn't been very talkative. I try to carry the conversations when he's not very talkative - but I'm not so sure he is interested in what I'm talking about. Maybe I need to add this to my list of 180's. If he's not very talkative, I don't try to carry the conversation anymore and when there is nothing left to say, I end the conversation until the next time...........
If I come out of this with nothing else, I know I will have at least learned and developed patience. And that alone is going to make a huge difference in my personal and professional life.
