JV - you can find 5-HTP in a health-food store - possibly a vitamin store (like GNC?) might carry it too. I haven't seen it at the big drug store chains.
Fish oil capsules may also be helpful to give him. I think telling him these are for his heart is an excellent idea. A multivitamin and a B-50 complex too (make sure he takes the B in the morning, because it can increase dreaming - not such a good idea for him right now?). Read the books and you will see what else may be helpful.
Sounds like a lot of positive steps this weekend - H may even be a bit relieved that he told you about some of his problems and you didn't abandon him.
Quote: It scares me when I think about H talking about all his horrible nightmares, and that he said, "If you even knew half the s**t I dream about, you would leave me in a second, JV!" It makes me wonder out of concern and fear if H has dreamt of physically harming me and/or the boys since he also said, "You have to know I would never hurt you or the boys.".... ??? I have thought about this everyday these past 2 or 3 days when H said all this, and I have been keeping it down inside because I don't want to show H that fear.
First of all - dreams are dreams - just because he has terrible dreams doesn't mean he has any intent - do you do all the things you dream about? Probably this just means he is having disturbed sleep. Another possibility, though, is this: there is a form of obsessive compulsive disorder where the person is bothered by persistent intrusive thoughts of doing something horrible - even though they don't want to do that thing at all. The guilt and shame they feel is horrible - because they don't understand that this is just like a mental "hiccup", and not a reflection of any hidden "inner feelings". Since 40% of anorexics also have OCD, it is possible that your H is experiencing something like this.
As for him not throwing up - that is great that he has decided to try to stop. Most bulimics will need help, though - and I can tell you, they sure can hide it well! We had NO idea my D was doing it, because she would do it at school and in the shower at night after dinner. Be supportive, give him praise and tell him you understand how hard it is. He may backslide somtimes but reassure him that he CAN beat this.
Of course, I think the best thing would be for him to get professional help - I am offering these other ideas only because I think they are better than doing nothing, and I know how hard it can be to get him into treatment. (The woman who wrote those books has a clinic in Mill Valley, btw - is that anywhere near you?)
Act As If he is going to get better - I know when my D had her eating disorder, she really relied on me to be sure she could succeed - it scared her to death if I looked like I was giving up hope.
