Quote: As a guy, let me tell you how great it is to just be able to spend time with the person we love, and to just not have the R hanging over our head. We know it's there, and it needs to be dealt with, but it's so great to just get to enjoy your company.
Thank you for this. It's been a great reminder to me that H IS trying and he DOES love me ! Why else would he still be here?
Quote: Now I'm speaking as the guy trying to keep the W here, but I think I can relate to how your H feels. He probably carries guilt that you can't imagine is actually there, and you have given him a special gift by just being able to enjoy each other's company.
H does have an enormous amount of guilt. He has told me this numerous times. In the beginning of all this, I felt so many times that I couldn't handle it, I couldn't handle his continuous indecision. But I finally realized that no matter how hard I tried to help or even possibly persuade H, this is something he would have to come to terms with on his own. Therefore I stopped the pressure (intentional and unintentional), I backed off, and I just started going with the flow. I let H set the pace, and I follow along.
Quote: I agree he should have gotten you something. Perhaps a better way, instead of saying it didn't matter (which it does!), was to say something that he would find reassuring, like "Well, any gift would be fine with me. What's important is that it came from you. I do like black hills gold, and I could use some earrings"
That's a good suggestion ; I will try that next time, thank you. I think I tend to tell H "it's ok, forget about it" because I just don't want to show him in any way that I am a little hurt and disappointed. I don't want nor do I expect an extravagant gift; I would just appreciate some kind of little token from H (like a card) that would tell me he's thinking of me and acknowledging the importance of the occasion.
Thanks again, guyinhou. I truly appreciate your male perspective on this. It really helps!
JV
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
! Why else would he still be here?
; I will try that next time, thank you. I think I tend to tell H "it's ok, forget about it" because I just don't want to show him in any way that I am a little hurt and disappointed. I don't want nor do I expect an extravagant gift; I would just appreciate some kind of little token from H (like a card) that would tell me he's thinking of me and acknowledging the importance of the occasion.
