Trying to find our way to happiness

[ValerieA]

I'm going through a VERY difficult trust issue right now .....

H just left to pick up S9 from school. Before that, H said, "I wanted to go to the mall and get a new band...(H lost his wedding band while in AZ the last time )...and I want to take (baby) if you're alright with that." I said ok.

Then within seconds, I begin thinking, "Oh god .....What if H just "happens" to run into OW seeing that she works there??? What if they say "hi" and OW sees my baby and TOUCHES him saying "Oh he's so cute!"??? What if H just wants to see OW???"

Trying to hold it all together, I asked H, "How about if (baby) and I both go with you? Would that be alright?" H said, "Alright," but then after a short moment, he said, "Well....I was kind of thinking this could be some alone time for me and him....but if you want to come....that's fine." I don't know, but H sounded a bit discouraged .

After that, H was doing some paperwork and talking to a co-worker on the phone. He was very moody and quiet.

How do I get through this? H has never wanted to have "alone time" with the baby or take him anywhere before, and I'm just feeling really insecure right now that H wanted to go to the mall. OW works there, and I can't bear the thought of OW possibly seeing my H still and even more so with one of our boys -- and with the one that can't talk or blab anything no less.



JV