Trying to find our way to happiness

[ValerieA]

Journaling:

H is at work. I've got some shopping to do in a bit, but I wanted to talk about yesterday and this morning.

H called before getting home around 10pm. He asked, "So do you think my mom will still come over?" I said I didn't know and why. H said he wanted to go play cards and he wanted us to go together. I didn't want to so I told him that, and I also told H to go ahead if that's what he wanted to go do. He kept going back and forth with "I want to go" and "Nah, I'll just stay home". H did that about 10 times until I finally said, "What are you going to do, H? I'm fine with either one." He finally decided, "I'm staying home. I'll be a man."......What?

When H got here, we watched one of the movies I rented before going to bed.

List for yesterday:

+ POSITIVES +

+ H continued to call me during the day.
+ Affection is still going strong.
+ H rested his head in my lap again while watching the movie.
+ !

- NEGATIVES -

- I was losing a bit of patience with H's indecision about whether or not to stay home last night. Although he did stay home, I think my irritability came through to H over the phone, and this could be why he decided to stay rather than do what he might have really wanted to do. Did that make sense ?
- With the above said, I think I'm ASSuming.

* THINGS TO WORK ON *

* I feel like I'm going to have to talk about a compromise soon. I think and feel like the sooner I do this, the less stressed I will be when H wants to go play poker. If we make an agreement, then I have no excuse to get upset as long as we BOTH stick to it.
* Gotta STOP the ASSumptions!

Ok now...this morning...

After H left for work and the kids had their breakfast, I went to sort some laundry. I was sorting H's dirty clothes from his trip and came across a pair of novelty boxer shorts I had never seen before.....I have always been the one to buy H's undergarments for him; H never has the time to buy himself new clothing.....They were Christmas boxers.....I didn't buy them, and I can't see H buying them either.....Well, I threw them out. I have this feeling that OW might have bought them for H. I can't imagine anyone else getting them for him.

Maybe I'm overreacting to something that is nothing, but they were Christmas boxers, and seeing them reminded me that H was having his A during Christmas time.

I'm not going to mention this to H. I don't think he would even notice he was missing a pair of underwear .

I'm going to try my hardest to get this off my mind now.

Thanks for listening.

JV