Journaling:

I'm feeling really good right now ! I have hope but no expectations for my sitch.

I want to focus on the positives in our sitch, and I also want to note the negatives so that I can work on those to change them. So let me start with yesterday:

+ POSITIVES +

+ H hugged me/initiated closeness when he arrived home.
+ H said he wants to take me out for dinner (with or without the kids) to make up for missing Mother's Day. I told H thanks but he didn't have to. H said he knows but he WANTS to.
+ LOTS of flirting going on between us yesterday! H clearly stating he wanted later in a flirtatious way. When I told him it was that time of month, he was bummed but I said, "There are other things we could do ." H really liked that!!!
+ I went to give H a small kiss before leaving to pick up S9, but he gave me a VERY NICE kiss instead !
+ We watched recorded programs together with H resting his head in my lap the whole time.
+ Bedtime came around, and we were very intimate . When H enjoys me like that, I feel SOOO good! Lots of "hot talk" -- stroking H's ego is always a BIG plus.
+ LOTS of holding me close all through the night!
+ H told me again that he does not want to lose me. He loves me.

- NEGATIVES -

- The only one I can think of as far as yesterday went was that I wasn't at the door to greet H when he got home, but that wasn't anyone's fault. It just happened that way .

* THINGS TO WORK ON *

* Telling H "IMY" before he feels he has to ask me.
* Initiating more closeness. I don't want H to feel that I'm always waiting on him to make the first move.
* If I can -- helping H to "feel more like a man". While in bed last night, H told me, "I don't want to lose you, JV....I want to be a man....I just want to feel like a man." I told H, "You ARE a man, H....You're MY man." Then he kissed me.

Ok. Yesterday went VERY well . There are many days ahead of us, and bad ones are bound to come up, but if we're able to have more "yesterdays" than "bad days", then we should be right on track.

Here's to taking one day at a time, feeling a bit more patient and a bit more hopeful.

Thanks for listening.

JV

BTW, I got a "good morning" kiss today!

Valerie

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown

"Piecing is not for the faint of heart." ~ sage