Just updating:

H arrived home about 2 hours ago. I was in another room and didn't hear H come in. S5 shouted, "Mom, Dad's here!" I went to the living room to greet H, but he was already in the bathroom. So I went to put some laundry in the dryer, came out, and H was there. I said, "Hey!...A goatee, huh? It's looks good!" H smiled and gave me a nice hug for a minute. It probably would've been longer or something a little more , but the baby started crying so I said, "Sorry. Let me go get him."

I went to change S8mos in his room then H came in there, too. H laid on the floor and when I was done with S8mos, H pulled me down to the floor with him. We were about to hug again, but the baby started fussing again. H picked him up and we had a "family" hug . After that I asked H to watch him for a second so I could dispose of the diaper and stick a load of laundry in the washer.

While I was in the laundry room, H came in there with S8mos. When I was done, H gave me another hug and asked, "Did you miss me?" I said, "Yeah." H gave me a nice kiss then handed over the baby so he could fix something to eat before going to pick up S9 from school.

Later when H returned from getting S9, I was putting clothes away in the boys' room. H came in and said he had a service call to handle (he already loaded the truck with equipment). He said he would be back in time to take S9 to Tae Kwon Do. I told him thank you. My hands were full so H kind of hugged me and gave me a kiss on my forehead.

Ok, I'm a little worried. H has been affectionate since getting here, but he has been very quiet.

My PMA IS here and showing......so....hmmmm....

Maybe because during the times of affection or "attempted" affection, it was just a bit awkward or disturbed by reality (the baby and my hands not being free -- ME not being free)???

OR....maybe H was hoping for a warm welcoming, and unfortunately, I wasn't right there to greet him when he walked through the door.

Maybe when H has to go on his next business trip and after he returns, I need to tell him that I missed him (without H having to ask first).....I'm thinking back to pre-A days when H would return from his trips and he would ALWAYS ask if I missed him. During his A, H never asked that anymore. Today, he did....Now I'm remembering back to one of our first R talks where H told me he didn't think that I loved him. So maybe H wants to hear "IMY" from me without having to ask -- I'll try to remember this next time and see what results I get !

Well, I hope H isn't as quiet when he gets back. I'll try to initiate some convo and maybe a little closeness. Hopefully it helps .

Thanks for listening.

JV

Valerie

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown

"Piecing is not for the faint of heart." ~ sage