Hello.

Not much to report about tonight. The boys called H around 8pm to say good night, but I didn't get to speak with him . Yes, a little disappointing, but I think I'll live.

My mind and my feelings have really been all over the place, but I've been thinking about things tonight, and I DO want to keep trying to work on my M (not that I'll change my mind, but I still have several days before H gets back). If anything, I feel like I have to keep trying for my boys' sake. They deserve to live in a happily loving family with Mom and Dad in it together, and if it doesn't work, well....I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Feeling a little uneasy right now. I called H (because he asked me to when I talked to him earlier today) a short while ago to let him know that his new driver's license (he lost the old one) came today and I would Fed-Ex it to him tomorrow, but his phone was off. I can be doing well, but when little things like this happen, I start to feel my insecurity creeping up on me. I'm sure there's a valid reason why H has his phone off. I just have a hard time not thinking about all the possibilities -- the ones that could hurt me. Like for instance, is he at a bar with (bf) who LOVES going out for drinks and picking up on women?.... ....This scenario happened A WHOLE LOT when H was in AZ pre-bomb. That's where he is now, and (bf) is there with him.......Ok, I'm more than a little uneasy. I'm VERY uneasy about H having his phone off. He usually only has it off when he doesn't want to be "bothered" by anyone.

I'm going to try to relax now. Thank you for listening.

JV

Valerie

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown

"Piecing is not for the faint of heart." ~ sage