Trying to find our way to happiness

[sage]

So...with the lack of my PMA and the possibility of H feeling "ignored", ....with H noticing my moodiness....could H think (when he sees me quiet and distant) that it's because of his A? Could H be thinking or feeling that I think about it everyday so this might be why he does? (Am I overanalyzing again? Sorry!)

Yes, h could absolutely think that.

One of the things that my h tells me is that he's ok when I'm upset as long as he knows if it's because of something he's done...iow, if it's blurry what's bothering me, well, that really stresses him out.

But, let me add a caveat to that...that doesn't give me carte blanche to express anger, resentment, whatever to him at full tilt...because THAT doesn't help either. What really, really works is for me to work on my anger and resentment solo...to figure out what's there because I've overlaid some "script" or "expectation" or "ASSumption" on what h has or hasn't done (a la what I posted yesterday) which is anger I need to deal with versus what's really about some bit of behavior of his.

The other thing is that I've found that things rarely need to be expressed angrily or with resentment...ASK for what you want as opposed to demanding it, etc.

FWIW, I've found that my anger has reduced about 90% by shedding the scripts and interpretation...it's truly amazing how it just mellows everyone out.

Sage