Hello everyone.

Sherry, thank you for the support. It helps when someone else can relate. I've just been doubting alot of things lately. Is this what I want? Am I happy trying to make my M work? Am I able to do this alone? Will H ever understand if I'm unsure myself? I just don't know. Too many things are constantly going through my mind.

I NEED to go back to GAL!!! I haven't been able to do anything for myself for awhile now, and my PMA is suffering because of it.

Anyway, H actually stayed home last night . He went to his buddy's house for about 30 minutes to give him stuff for some installs this weekend then he came back. We watched a movie together (it's been a long while) then went to bed. It was a nice time.

Well, I backslid a bit today.

H will most likely be leaving for AZ this evening, so he picked up S5 from kindergarten and took S9 out of school early this afternoon. H wanted to take them out for mini-golf and bowling. Of course, I wasn't invited to go along.

MIL called the house. I had my hands full with the baby and just let the machine answer. She said, "JV? Is H there? Well, I just wanted to know if I'm supposed to meet them at the bowling alley or what. Have H call me."

... Needless to say, I was sad and bothered that H invited his mom but not me. So I called his cell, and since he didn't answer, I left him my backsliding message, "Your mom called and wants to know if she should meet you at the bowling alley...It's nice that you invited her and not me." Yeah, I will admit that I was being a baby . Sorry.

Shortly after that, H called but I didn't answer. He said that they were riding the go-carts when I called and were leaving the fun park to go bowling. H said, "If you'd like to come, you can. Call me and let me know."

H called back within a minute and said that he had just checked his voicemail and heard my message. H then said, "You can totally come with us! I would like that. I wish you would answer. Maybe you're busy with (baby). Call me back, and I'll try your cell."

So I did call him back. H said he was sorry for not asking me; he just didn't think to ask. H said, "I'm sorry. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. Do you want to come?" I said that was alright, and to go ahead and take his mom since she wanted to go. H said that we could all go, but I told him that I didn't feel like seeing his mom right now because I've been avoiding her. She was calling all the time while H was away to see how things were going between us. I told H thanks, but maybe next time. He said alright then we hung up.

So, yes, I backslid a little today but seemed to have recovered from it ok.

Well...H DID ask me to go along. A small baby step there? I have to say that it did make me feel better.

He also asked me if I could get his things together for his trip, and I said sure.

Ok, that's all for now. Thanks for listening.

JV

Valerie

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown

"Piecing is not for the faint of heart." ~ sage