JV,

I have read all of your posts and my heart does go out to you. I can see why you are feeling resentment. Your husband was gone for three weeks and then gets back and is out every night playing poker. He spends so much time away with traveling you would think when he got home his priority would be to spend as much time at home as he could.

What made me respond is I know you had mentioned your husband has anxiety attacks when he is away from home. I know what it feels like to have these and suffer from it. And it sounds like your husband needs some counseling. It scared me to read that he would break down a door like that when the children are right there at home and use that kind of language. Then scream at you that this is what you wanted deal with it. Do you think it is possible that he would agree to some kind of counseling. Maybe his anxiety goes deeper and he has some sort of depression or is manic depressive?

I know it can be hard to force someone to go, they have to want the counseling. I wish my own husband would get counseling because I think he is depressed. He had done some whacky things himself over the last year. I just started to post here not long ago. I feel like I could post on many of the boards. I have just hit the surface with how my marriage has been.

Just wanted to tell you I feel for you. It seems you are such a strong woman.