Socal, You wanna know what jumps out at me, when I read your posts?
The fact that you maintain that there are no marital problems and that you get along fine and love each other...but yet you say that she gives you "emotionless" sex.
A person with whom you had a great R, would NOT do this, don't you agree?
If she knows it is important to you, why would she be passive aggressively mean while you are ML? Withholding her emotions seems very cold and calculated, although in a "I'm not doing this to huuuuurt you, I just am not feeling anything" way. A person who was putting your needs above their own would be acting in a completely different way. Perhaps not overflowing with desire, but overflowing with love and good will--EMOTION, in other words.
Perhaps you need to gently but firmly reject any sex that has this tone to it. There were times when I would call a screeching halt to the proceedings if it didn't feel right. I wanted sex badly but was not willing to sell my soul to get it. Eventually this type of "offering" faded from H's repertoire.
