I think you need to post some positives in your life. Today! You have alot of good things happening. Don't make the mistake of dwelling on an insensitive jerk who put you down! Now about that list??
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
Boy you are a hard person to find, but I was persistant and finally caught you over here.
I was reading your thread to see where you were. I know, this isn't the most fun place to be, but look at all the great advice & support that everyone here has given you. In so many ways, we are the lucky ones. No matter how it may appear to you now, your husband will never have this kind of support.
I know that it may look to you as if everyone thinks that what your husband has done is ok, but believe me they don't. I'm sure people don't know what to say and from what I have read your husband and the OW have been pretty "in your face" with their affair. I think that you would probably be very surprised at some of the opinions that people have about this. When you are happy again, and people aren't afraid of opening up wounds, you will hear the truth. I would bet that you have a LOT more support than you could even imagine!
So I will keep checking in on you and hope to find you doing better on a daily basis.
Sweetie, listen to these great, caring friends here on your thread. I truely believe that I have made friendships that will last a lifetime. I've also gotten advice that at the time, I wasn't ready or didn't want to hear, but who better to give it than a friend who knows exactly how you feel? I might not always want the truth but I know that's exactly what I'm gonna get.
I bet Piecing is the last place you thought to look for me!
I agree on the friendships and support from this bb. I know that I received some AWESOME advice while trying to save my marriage and I wasn't in a place to accept it and put it into place. Way too emotional for the most part.
I try much harder now to really read and understand the posts I receive.
I am not down today so my next post isn't that it is a looking for suggestions on stopping this pattern that is where I ended up before and hit the really black depression. I WILL NOT go back there, I REFUSE!
Now, to turn me totally around, what do I really need to implement in my life?
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
The realization that hit me Monday is I am in almost the same identical rut that I was in when I went through my first divorce. Even though D was around and I had happy, fun times the other stuff was still there. At that time I attributed the tiredness to stress, as in after the stress had lessened my body let down and tried to recoop.
Now I think it is a combination of stress and depression. I also did not feel well a lot of the time after my first divorce and again same thing now. I seem to have a lot more off days than on days. Thinking this may also be depression.
Their are no similarities in the two divorces; other than I ended up divorced both times, so I just didn't realize I am feeling and doing almost exactly the same things again.
I am also eating a lot, (emotional I'm sure), and getting almost no exercise. Have gained 13 lbs since I think November is last time I weighed. So I'm sure the extra weight is adding to my general not feeling well. I did the same thing last time, gained a lot of weight and didn't even realize it that time till it was all gained!
I think I had a spell there for a while where I wasn't struggling with the depression but I am sure that I am now. Last time around I did not realize it.
I am still on the 50 mg dosage of Zoloft, which is half of what I was on as we were stepping me down. I need to go ahead and finish the stepping down before I am out of medication. But want to put some other things in place to work on the depression before I finish coming off the Zoloft.
I guess I'm not sure what I am looking for here other than I KNOW this pattern isn't where I want to go but I'm not really sure how to start changing it.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I think you should implement an exercise program before you go off of your AD's. I did and it helped tremendously. I think exercise is a natural antidepressant. so get goin on that while you are in the tapering process. it will help with the weight gain, as well.
and just so you know....i tapered, but still went thru the withdrawals - sweats, brain zaps, fogginess, fatigue, irritability, etc. it does go away. You just have to fight thru it...I really think exercising helped.
By the way - you sound really good, whether you think so or not.
I lurk here daily. It keeps me honest. I did reconcile with DH. We have ups and downs, but for the most part things are peachy. I have enjoyed watching your metamorphisis!
to be honest...the bad part of the withdrawals lasted a good week. then it got better for me. I think it took a good month or so for all to get semi-normal. but I was glad when I did. I think the withdrawal symtoms make people think they aren't ready to get off...but it really is a matter of getting thru it. Of course, if after the withdrawals are gone and you get back into that depression funk, then maybe you DO need them. at that point, you could re-evaluate! I personally think you sound strong, so maybe it is a good time to think about it. I think the daily side effects got to be a bummer after awhile for me. Plus, I was HUNGRY all the time! but, it did save me when I was so down and depressed.
I do the Firm and some other DVD's for fitness. I like it . check it out!
Thank you for the comment on the metamorphisis and for saying I sound strong. Every once in a while I even feel it!
I haven't heard from PIB and I don't have a way to contact her. I was thinking that she used to have her thread set up where posts were e-mailed to her so was hoping she might pop in and let us know if she has had the baby.
I have to start with something easy enough that I won't get totally discouraged right off the bat! Trying to do some planning and figure out a new routine for the kids and I.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I guess it just hit me really hard that the actions and feelings are almost identical as when I was in my apartment and even after D and I were married, most especially after my horse died!
It scared me a bit as I so badly don't ever want to end up like that again.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Good Morning MO,