I laughed at your visual! That was me earlier today and yes, the blanket was definitely over my head!!!
You are now at the absolutely top of my list after praising Shara!!! She is a pretty cool 11 year old lady! She does everything but talk and in her way she does. I can't tell you the number of people who have commented when she looks at them that she looks like she just wants to say something!
I mentioned to T that someday I want another Shara and she said you have bonded so closely with her because of the intelligence. So she is cool and the Nationals were pretty cool!
Thank you for checking on me.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
E-mail I received from a friend off the bb and I want it someplace easy to find again.
Hey Pam,
Yes, I think you are right it does take time to get through it....alot longer than we would like and certainly longer than I would ever have expected... But I am happy to hear you really do sound good.
I think also we always miss them, but the truth is we miss the person we THOUGHT we knew, not the person they REALLY are.
Because if they were the person we thought them to be, they wouldn't be treating us the way they are.
We are in love with who we thought they were not who they truly are. Do you honestly love the person he is???
I am betting not. He is most likely not being very loving, caring or devoted...to anything you care about.
Try not to be depressed about what happened to you....it made you the person that you are.
There are messages all around us all we have to do is listen for them and some of it will come through to you............don't be afraid to sit and listen to it. So many of us are afraid to be alone with our own thoughts, afraid of the answers we will hear, Hear it. There is a lesson there somewhere.
Peace tonight sista!!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
So glad you shared that e-mail. Your friend expressed some really good thoughts.
Time.... how we all wish we could get past the hurt quickly. It just doesn't happen that way. What we need to do though, is think about how far we have come, how much we have learned and know that we will be just fine. Not just surviving, but thriving! Hugs, Pattie
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
I don't think I'm to the thriving stage yet. I think I am becoming a hermit. Trying to figure out why. I don't like to talk on the phone at all anymore, think that might be due to having to answer it all day at work. If I don't have something scheduled for the kids I pretty much don't go out. But the kids have something most weekends now and I am social at their outings so maybe I just need quiet time during the week to recharge? I do notice my nerves seem pretty on edge a lot of the time, maybe that will keep getting better as I process more of the pain?
How is the new one doing? Surely you have it by now???
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
You may think you are in the surviving mode, I see some thriving. You are participating in events. ( Your kids may be the reason, for now. I prefer to see your involvement in the shows as your idea. You are the one making the choices to enter.
Quiet time is fine. We all need that space! The trick is to not let the time become brooding time! So, make a big note to yourself that you can't have pity parties!
Still no baby!!! Since she was field bred, the vet could only make an educated quess. Poor mare is crabby and huge. I'll let you know when the blessed event happens.
I'm just hanging here. Lots of eye-openers concerning h. How I wish he would get the help he needs. Detachment is an excellent place to be.
Later!! Pattie
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
True I am making choices to enter but I'm not accomplishing much else. Just the kids events. Of course I believe a part of that is the finincial straits we are under right now.
I still have pity parties once in a while, especially once a month!
Poor mare. I hope the baby comes soon.
I wish I would get to total detachment. I think it would be an excellent place to be and wish I were there!!!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Strange thought, I realized this morning that one of the things I do miss is seeing D posting to folks on the bb. I guess that is because it was a way of still seeing his sense of humor at times and the logic that he could come up with very well in others situations.
I think he looked at ours mostly all emotional, but that could be my perception and not reality from his side. I know the last e-mail that I received from him sounded unlike him in that it expressed emotion and anger.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Cool. Got an e-mail from a lady that I am becoming friends with and I had sent her the ones about my trip to the Nationals. It was good to know she enjoyed them.
I just wanted to let you know that you are a wonderful writer. I have really enjoyed your emails about the trip.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
She is a pretty cool 11 year old lady! She does everything but talk and in her way she does. I can't tell you the number of people who have commented when she looks at them that she looks like she just wants to say something! 
I appreciate the info, again!