Realize that I am still not close to being ready to face seeing D & J together at shows and meetings. Not sure how long that will be coming and I hope when it happens it is one of those things that isn't as bad as you dread it will be.

I still think it would be easier to put this all behind me if I didn't have to face seeing them to get back into my hobby.

I also realize that I get locked onto wanting the kids to get titles and to put an ad in our club newsletter and that is all for me to try to build my self esteem back up from having my husband chose another woman.

I have to pull myself back from that and realize that if the kids don't enjoy what we are doing we aren't going to do it and it isn't their job to build my self esteem back up but mine! They are there with their unconditional love and D & J can't take that away from me.

I wish D would have came to the conclusion that some of the h's did that he is very sorry for what he has done and that he wanted our R to work. But looking back at my threads I knew in the beginning that I couldn't fight Janice and win. But, I tried! Got to give myself credit for trying, didn't get it right most of the time, but I didn't give up.

Pam

"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned
so as to have the life that is waiting for us"