ahh... "Cognitive Behavior Therapy" (which, in my mind is not far off the therapy Michele talks about in DB)… is near and dear to my heart. When my sitch blew up the first of the year, the therapist I went to was totally into CBT... brought my W in to see him, and she hated the guy. I think she felt that looking at the past to find out why you are at the here and now was something that needed to be done (since she has been working on herself for a couple of years now). I think she felt the CBT was just masking the real problem and that if not addressed could "leak around the sides of the patch" if you weren't careful. I have to say, part of me agrees that CBT isn't always the best approach (especially if the S is against it to begin with).

I have since left my T with him and am seeing a psychologist; partially for the meds, and more importantly, he really helped me discover who I am, and what my actions have been doing over the years. If I just used CBT techniques to solve a problem I would have run the risk of seeing immediate results (I can hear “how can that be bad!?”) and slacking off since the problem “seemed” to go away. Where with traditional therapy, I have seen what it was (why it was) and can change the deep-rooted problems more easily (which then would eventually translate to lasting results).

However, I do see the point of solving the immediate conflict with CBT (with the promise of doing the harder work later) so the partner doesn’t move on immediately (the hard stuff can take years or a lifetime to solve).

Well, off my soapbox... just wanted to add my 2 cents

Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past. – Alexa Young