Quote: I've never been a big fan of parental (not a typo) rights. The implication is that kids are property. I think parental responsibility is a much bigger issue. You never see anybody drag their butt into court demanding to be allowed to pay doctor bills and stay home with a sick kid and on and on.
SD, you made me laugh!
How right you are. The fact that these "rights" are sometmes (in some countries) not linked to fulfilling any parental responsibility stinks.
Jennifer, I haven't kept up with your situation in 100% detail, but I have to say the whole thing about S's behaviour gives me very bad vibes. Swinging from not wanting the child at all to then demanding his parental rights smells fishy. What person in a committed relationship would need to demand his parental rights?
It has taken me a very long time to see my H for the kind of person he is, a very long time. If I had understood things at the start, I would have run for the hills.
Is S ever likely to turn into a stable, honest, committed, cherishing kind of guy? Has he displayed any of these qualities since you have known him? If not, then how will the future be any different?
Please excuse the blunt nature of this post. I may have overlooked something or got the wrong end of the stick. But I can tell you, that wishful thinking never got anyone anywhere, and I can see a whole lot of red flags in your situation. And you are just at the beginning of this journey as a parent to your child.
Another thing - folk usually need therapy to help them sustain a relationship, to right one that has gone bad. But therapy to actually entice someone into a committment? This measure of reluctance does not auger well.
I write all this not to hurt, but to ask you to step outside of your situation a little and see it more objectively. Difficult, I know.
Best wishes whatever happens.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
