The commitment to embark on the journey is the hardest part and S seems genuinely committed. As oyu recognized, you can't force him to look at himself--and your T made clear he will get there. It seems T is doing the hard work of building up S's confidence with him so that when you do get there--it will have some productiveness on top of the anticipated defensiveness.
You're near or at the top of my list of prayers. Keep on plugging and surrender yourself to the bigger picture.
