I too enjoyed your laying out the multi-color explanation of Mirroring, Validating & Empathizing (M-V-E'ing) and am still chewing on it. I often find it hard in the middle of a 'touchy' discussion to pause and Mirror back to SO. I think if I could master that nanosecond where I have the choice to reflect back what he's said and ask if it's true, I could probably comfortably find my way to Validating and Empathizing. It's that moment where you either REACT or RESPOND that's a toughie for me sometimes.
I think the fact that you both have gone through the exercise together is also a plus which I currently don't have. As I said to you earlier, I think the key will be to remember to use these tools when outside the therapist's office. And I suggested you & S. come up with a signal, or 'bid' a la Gottman, that you both recognize as a cue to come back to M-V-E'ing. So that you can both stop and 'hear' what the other one is saying.
Quote: I'm trying to get back into my reading and journaling, because I feel very far from reflective about what's happening with ME and what MY needs are that I need to take care of MYSELF. I'm very stuck and bogged down right now, and need to give myself a push...
I agree about journaling - for me it often helps me see a pattern, or a recurring 'issue' that I miss when bogged down in the day to day stuff. My mind seems to work differently when writing things down - interesting thoughts pop up and sometimes odd connections surface in ways not possible when I'm just in my head. So, here's your virtual PUSH to keep going w/ the journaling.
