Quote: And to address your comment above, Ellie, military wives have been actually living with their spouses already. My thought - which I think is perfectly reasonable - is to move in together as soon as possibile so that we aren't adjusting to a new space, a new baby, AND living together all at once. Remember, we don't live together now. It's not the moving I'm worried about, it's sharing a space at all! And, maybe you didn't catch this, but the apartment I want to move into HAS A KITCHEN.
J - no one is suggesting that your ideas aren't reasonable - of course they are . BUT - they aren't HIS ideas, and he undoubtedly has his reasons why he thinks HIS way is best, and even if they are stupid reasons, relationships are all about compromise. And since he tends to be more frugal than you, and he knows you are in debt, maybe that $1600 DOES mean a lot to him. (And a word of caution here - most people spend WAY too much on baby stuff - stuff that you'll be giving to the Goodwill within months or a year. And that won't matter one wit to your baby. So maybe a good 180 to pull here, to demonstrate to SO that your are being fiscally responsible, would be to look into ways to furnish the nursery more inexpensively, etc.)
As for the other elephant in the living room - that he may not really step up to the plate - sure, that's nerve-wracking. But pressuring him won't improve the situation. Trust me on this one.
And neither will getting mad at him. Let's face it - I told you a long time ago he was a poor risk and you deserved someone who thought the sun rose and set on you. You decided that he was worth all the pain and aggravation of working out your R, despite his flaws. So - it's really not fair to get mad at him now for those same flaws.
And - having said all that - don't despair. My H wanted NOTHING to do with babies before we had our son - wouldn't even hold my niece and nephew. Our pregnancy was planned ,and H was happy about it - but not in a goofy way. When our son was born, though - H had to take him around to everyone in the hospital, and make them all say he was the most beautiful baby they'd ever seen. He was a fool for that baby. Hopefully it will kick in for SO like that.
In the meantime - let go of the steering wheel. Enjoy being pregnant. Live in the moment.
