I'll chime in with my experience of SO & moving house. The two times we moved, I would start the process as soon as I knew where the next place would be. And he would not lift a finger in that direction. In fact, a couple of times I got an impassioned complaint about "living with boxes" and how he hated it. His style of moving involves running around a day or two ahead of the move, and even packing as the movers are taking away the big stuff.
We drove each other nuts with our different styles of handling things. But as I clearly learned during his own move out of our place, his style is mighty different than mine, but the end result was pretty much the same - he did move out successfully on that dreadful day, and had the phone, cable & other necessities all set up.
As I look back now, I understand a couple of things:
- For him, change is harder than it is for me.
- While I find moving to a new place an exciting thing (for it has always been a 'bigger & better' place), for him leaving behind the 'past' is harder. I'm more the optimist thinking things will be better - and he's more the pessimist & dreads having to set up and sort out all his stuff again. He's a creature of habit.
I do understand your feelings on this, and why you want the particular apartment you picked. It does make perfect sense to me. But if we were to take a larger picture look at things (step back from the apt. issue & take a R. view), maybe allowing S. to make the choice about what's best for the 'family' might actually get you closer to your R. goals... It can allow him to have a choice in a situation that he is still feeling somewhat was not of own his choosing.
Let me ask you, why do you think that S. is NOT taking into consideration what's best for all 3 of you? Is it that you feel he has a different 'vision' or is it that he has a different 'option' of achieving your shared vision?
And of course, you can count on me to help with the move!
