Quote: JJ, I wasn't talking so much about you turning down sex... I was thinking more of a long-term R where the guy was really in the driver's seat: you do it when he wants to, the way he wants to, for as long as he wants to. Not that you aren't consulted, but that HE drives it and you are more often the responder than the initiator. I wonder what that would feel like to you-- to be the passerger all (or most) of the time, and not the driver.
Pardon the food analogy but this is the equivalent of asking me if I would lose my appetite if my H insisted on cooking dinner every night and didn't consult me about the menu. The fact of the matter is I am not a picky eater so unless he was a really lousy cook or only knew how to make two dishes it really wouldn't bother me a bit to only be responsible for cooking Sunday brunch though I guess I would balk at being absolutely banned from the kitchen. I would pull my chair up to the table, tuck my napkin under my chin and look forward to gobbling up whatever he was serving.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
