LP
Thanks for your wise words. (H came back from the Y and is off to the library so I'm sneaking in a quick peak at the BB. I don't know how the rest of you keep up with both RL AND the BB, esp GGB with his large family)

Yes, you are right - I will bite my tongue about nagging him about what's good for his health.

I felt the "too late" was hurtful too, but to put it in context, I called him on his cell and reached him while he was at a restaurant ordering lunch so it was not a time or place for a real convo. I felt so hurt that I got off right away without expressing my real feelings or giving him much of a chance to say he wished it was otherwise. Later on he claimed it was just a straightforward statement on his part.

The fact that he is experiencing performance problems and anxieties magnifies the issues. I think it makes it more necessary (in his mind) that everything be done according to his schedule. And maybe at the moment he is right - that he needs to feel so turned on or he may have ED. If I approach him and try to seduce him, then that may feel like pressure which contributes to ED. At least with MB, if he has trouble - which he sometimes does these days, he doesn't have the additional pressure of a partner.

H is back; gotta go.
DL

Quote:

DL, as I was reading your post, I had a thought, and then you confirmed it:
Quote:

he said he felt as though things have switched and currently I am more HD and he is more LD

Others have had this experience. Cinemanymph wrote about it a while back.

A word of advice regarding your H's health: don't be the diet/health police. It's not worth it. It turns you into Mom. It's his health, he has to take responsibility for it. How can he, if you beat him to it? Try backing way off. Just for the weekend, bite your tongue every time you want to say anything to him about how HE should eat, exercise, whatever. My late husband was chronically ill, and this kind of thing can eat away at a R.

I thought his "too late" reply was incredibly rude and insensitive. It physically HURT to read that comment from him. It's like he's punishing you for becoming more sexual. "You can try, but you can't take THIS away from me! It's MINE and I'll do it when I want to."

Good luck with the C.


There are many wise, empathetic and funny people here: you are my buddies - I'm grateful for your support.