Thanks I've been somewhat amused at how cemar's issues just took over but it's nice to have someone notice that it was originally my post. Not to continue his thread, but I would just say that I really think he and his W need joint counselling.
I have been too busy with overtime at work and various personal issues, including possible serious illness for S27 to post very much recently. (Too much time online at home is bad for my R and that big DB screen is hard to hide at work - Michele - can't there be a link to a subdued screen or at least one with Divorcebusting in a smaller b/w font?)
We had a good weekend. A high quality local "sex store" for women has a good book corner. I picked up several books from my wishlist on Friday. Nothing in them is rocket science, but reading helps me remember common sense things I forget and also helps keep my mind on the subject. H thinks many of the ideas are somewhat gimmicky ("who needs sexy lingerie?") but is happy for me to try anything that turns ME on.
Afternoons are better for H. I was out Sat a.m. and when I got home H was ready for me. And my reading the night before had primed my pump. I set aside all thoughts of the many household chores that needed doing and we had a lovely afternoon. (but someday this messy house does need to be organized and cleaned!)
Keeping these LD flickers of desire alive while being buffeted by life stresses of work and illness often feels like trying to start a campfire in the the wind. The flames blow out unless coddled, so I'm trying to coddle.
We go for first joint counselling tomorrow to a see a female therapist, a social worker on the AASECT list I hope the gender is OK for H. It is hard for him to talk about his ED. She sounded reasonable on the phone but it's hard for me to tell how "pro-marriage" she is. Basically she said a lot depends on how committed both members of the couple are to the R. We are. But I'm a little nervous about how our sessions with her may stir up feelings before resolving them. It may be a roller coaster before it's over.
gotta get some work done, Doglover
There are many wise, empathetic and funny people here: you are my buddies - I'm grateful for your support.
I've been somewhat amused at how cemar's issues just took over but it's nice to have someone notice that it was originally my post. Not to continue his thread, but I would just say that I really think he and his W need joint counselling.