To be perfectly honest with you....I'd rather hear your own thoughts than what you read in a book, whether that book be written by a psychologist, therapist....or the Holy Bible itself...I'd rather hear your thoughts. You would be amazed how many women have a much higher sex drive than they admit to.....just as many men have a lower one, it's simply isn't discussed. I have recently discovered another friend of mine is married to a man who is LD in comparison to her...she's like me, she doesn't want/need/desire sex daily or even multiple times weekly; she, like myself, could happily live with once or twice a week....yet her H loves her but doesn't think about it.
I found this bit of info out when I and two of my friends went to dinner and we began chatting about my H. These ladies are my best friends so they are aware of our situation and our progress....this friend I've had for 20 years just told me about this. What are the odds that I would know not one but two other women in the same situation as mine? One of them (probably like myself) if you were to look from the outside into the marriage would NEVER guess had an LDH, the other (the one who just fessed up) used to go on and on and on about her H's SD and how often he wanted it....SHE was ashamed to tell me the truth because we, as women, are taught men are supposed to think about sex 24-7 and when they don't it confuses the heck out of us and affects our self-worth.
Really....I've come to learn there is no "norm", it's what two people can come to terms with as far as their SL's go. CeMar, I am HD in my R....but I would be LD to you.
Quote: I saw something on Oprah where the women were intentionally keeping themselves LD because they were AFRAID of what they might do if they became HD.
Maybe Mrs.CeMar is afraid of being HD because if she were HD she might want to do the cute mailman more than you or maybe she is afraid of being HD because she is afraid you would reject her when she suggests her ultimate fantasy which involves black leather chaps, a hairbrush and CeMar the slaveboy.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I wish my sex drive were more consistent because I feel a sense of confidence, vitality, and strength when my sex drive is high. I'd love to see women own this feeling more.
Quote: I' don't think we are out of the norm. I think we are not represented by Hollywood
LG, how about Mrs Roper on the old TV series "Threes Company"? Helen always wanted to do something in the bedroom and Stanley almost always said no. When he said yes, he had to have a drink. Yes not many HDW with LDH in pictures.
I did see several female names associated with writing or producing the series. Were they trying to tell us something back in the 1970's?
Quote: I am told by attorneys that in the realm of sexual differences, the filing is 50/50 for who is LD and who isnt.
Is this really true in more than one law office you know about? Or is this something women / men use to cover up something else they don't want to talk about?
Quote: I wish my sex drive were more consistent because I feel a sense of confidence, vitality, and strength when my sex drive is high. I'd love to see women own this feeling more.
The old feminist phrase I use to describe this is "I am a woman in her power". One of the main reasons I get depressed when I try to make myself LD is because I lose this feeling.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Quote: maybe she is afraid of being HD because she is afraid you would reject her when she suggests her ultimate fantasy which involves black leather chaps, a hairbrush and CeMar the slaveboy.
LOL (again)
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
Although I probably could use sex everyday, I would be happy with 3 times a week. This is probably about average for a man. Some on here think I am sex crazed. Tell me if I am sex crazed if I want the following:
Sex 3 times a week. I want the wife to initate 1/3 of the time and I want her to be able to prove to me that she desires me. A kiss before work, a kiss when I get home, and a kiss before bed. Some "French". Sleeping naked, lots of skin time. Romantic getaways. Interest from the wife in trying new things. Felatio from her through completion. Oral sex must be offered from her and she should show that she LIKES doing it.
To me, everything I listed above is sort of my minimum list for success. Under my ideal list the sky is the limit. Is there something on my minimal list that I should just forget?
What about substitutions on the list CeMar? Some women just find BJs repulsive, especially if it has to include ejaculating into her mouth. Why is this soooo important to you? Is it just because you aren't getting it: would it become less important if she did it a lot?
BJ's are important. They show your DESIRE for your spouse. I give my wife all the oral sex she can handle as well as annalingus. I am not inhibited in any way, I just want the same from her. I would never consider marriage to a women that does NOT like to give BJ's, as this would indicate possible sexual hangups. My wife used to give them to me, no she says they are disgusting, so again, I was the victim of Bait and Switch. When my wife refuses to pay attention to the most important part of my body, how can I not see this a rejection of me. How can you love someone and yet not love their body? This makes absolutely no sense to me. The most important part of sex is to give as much pleasure to your spouse, it's not about receiving pleasure. It's about the giving, but when it is apparent that your spouse is not giving, it makes you really think about what your value is to your spouse. HD men want sexually confident women, and if you do not like giving BJ's, you very likely are not a sexually confident women.
