I think we all have things we naturally enjoy and naturally seek out. For instance, I naturally enjoy and seek out chocolate and sex. OTOH, there are things we can enjoy but don't naturally seek out. For instance, I have no urge to drink or dress fashionably but if someone hands me a glass of wine or buys me a nice shirt I do enjoy it. I could become a stylishly dressed wine expert if I wanted to even though I have no compulsion in those areas and to some extent you can become more sexual by simply making lifestyle choices that promote it.

The first book I would recommend would be "How To Be a Great Lover". This is a book that strives to improve womens sex lives by teaching them the techniques that will make them feel more competent and thus more comfortable during sex. If you are more turned on by R rated movies than porn, you will probably be more turned on by romance novels than erotica. The habit of reading romance novels is the habit most strongly statistically associated with an active sex life for women. Of course, some romance novels are more about love, marriage and babies than sex. You need to get some with steamy scenes included.

If you browse back on this BB there was a thread entitled something like "Music that gets me in the mood". You could try listening to some of the selections and see if any of it works for you.

You could try redecorating your bedroom to make it more of a sensual oasis so when you walk in there it will be more likely to trigger thoughts of sex. One suggestion I read somewhere was to take a picture of you and your husband (not full body )right after you've had sex when you're all flushed and feeling loving and then have it blown-up and framed and hang it in your bedroom.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver