Hi doglover-Just wanted to add a few things to your post. You mentioned that some of your needs are not being met such as H not cuddling, possibly not affectionate, helping you out around the house, etc, etc. and therefore not a help in putting you in the mood (I felt the same way). Well part of the concept of DB is that one person can make a change in the R. This was true of my H and I. Once I started satisfying his needs for ML he started doing "thoughtful" things for me including helping me around the house, cuddling, openning up the lines of communication. It was amazing.
As far as being LD, I can relate. However I have found that this is a state of mind. I have gotten down to my goal weight and feel much more secure about my body. In addition I buy sexy lingerie b/c it makes me feel good. I am sure to keep this subject on the forefront of my mind to ensure that it stays a priority to me. In doing so, some people might even consider me HD now-and I love it! Find whatever it is that puts you in the mood and makes you feel sexy.
Like you, before I would always take my H for granted and put him at the end of my "to do" list. I wanted to get everything else done first. Big mistake! I never got around to him and the attention he needed. I say when the mood strikes him, don't reject him. Instead build him up and go for it or better yet, you be the one to initiate. You might just be surprised at the result and reaction you get from it.
These changes were mandatory for my M to stay intact. Now that I have made them, I am wondering why I didn't "get it" years ago and make the changes then. Your H is looking for something and sure that might be a quality in the "OW" but I am sure he would much rather find that "quality" in you rather than looking elsewhere.
You can overcome being LD and your R can be soooo much better. At least this is what I have found.
