Yes I have read SSM. My H hasn't - he's often dismissive of selfhelp books, but perhaps it would help. My problem is I feel I need to reread it everyday to remind myself to keep it at the top of my todo list. (I need the bracelet or the tatoo "I like sex" to remind myself I like it once I get into it even tho it just doesn't occur to me a lot of the time and other things end up seeming more important).
He says the "OW" is just a buddy; the email just a stupid male fantasy which he admits he never should have sent. Problem is the "OW" is a close friend of both of us.
Doglover
There are many wise, empathetic and funny people here: you are my buddies - I'm grateful for your support.
