Have you and/or your H read SSM yet? Or at least the excerpt on this site? Calling him on suggestive contact with OW was a good start. For HD's, the temptation of an affair may not be easily resisted. I myself shredded a Christmas card and long letter from an old flame. Answering GEL's queries honestly (at least to yourself) will be (to paraphrase a Chinese cliche) the first step in a thousand mile journey. Don't give up.
