New here and question about MY feelings changing

[BethJ]

Thank you both for your replies. Pamila, I am daily in the Word and prayer is my lifeline as well. Thanks also for the warning that H may still be with OW. I, too, have a hard time believing that MY H could be so deceptive. I know the outside phone contact has ended, and he gets home early, calls me from work instead of cell before leaving so I can see caller ID, etc. Last night he even initiated a R talk, which I deftly avoided. He says he thinks I need to go to counseling now, as he is glad he went. I told him I just don't think I care anymore, and he said the C told him to expect this. He seems to find my new attitude somewhat amusing and is being light-hearted and jokey. I know he still has not repented, does not read his Bible (used to be nightly before bed) and probably is not praying. Of course, we keep up appearances and go to church, and he prays with the kids before bed as well. I guess I am waiting for him to apologize to me, be broken about his A and try to win me back.

He asked me last night when I was going to start "attacking" him again (his word for iniating s*x) and I said never. He joked that since I came home he expected I would want to (I had said I may not come home last night, after he said he was going golfing after work and I was angry 'cause I didn't know if that's where he really was). At least he is finally talking to me about something not surfacey, right? I need to get to the place where I am appreciating his small efforts. Right now I am not there.

Anyway, thank you for listening and I am going to go read about both of your situations now as well!