Looking backward...but only to move forward FOUR

[sage]

Minnie,

How did you help him see or how did he come to see that you DON'T always do that?

This is ,as you know, is one of the most frustrating things in my sitch...having H stuck in the past, in how it used to be......

I think it's a combo of a few things:

1. utter persistence in the changes

2. validating when he DOES say "You always..." -- iow, not saying "no I don't" but saying "I'm sorry it still feels that way" and taking it to heart

3. Continuing to look and see if he may be right (am I often still distracted with him, etc)

4. Being as accepting of him and his behavior as possible -- one thing I've found in my sitch is that the less I "penalize" h, the less he "penalizes" me.

Sage