Hi

Yes, my humour is starting to return so I think I am over the shock of his horrible email.

I definitely need some me time, just for me, sans H, sans kids, sans everything, just for me. I sometimes feel like I don't matter and it's only my family that counts.

DD4 slept in my bed every night since he sent that email, so bless her, she must have known something was not right. I did well, though, and managed not to cry in front of her.

I had my aromatherapy massage which wiped me out (it was really nice, I didn't realise how much pain my back was in until she did the massage). Slept for 3 hours after that massage, in the middle of the day, so it must have done me good.

My other friend is paying for a web design course for me to do for my work, so I am going to the college to enroll soon and that will be good GAL work. The business advice people are also helping me.

I'm enrolling Alicia into playschool too. I can't believe my little girl is nearly 3. It only seems 5 minutes since I was pregnant. She will either start in September or December, depending on the number of places available.

This evening I did a spell (don't laugh, everybody) for H to come back and us get remarried. Don't know if that kind of thing works or whether it's just nonsense, but when you're as desperate as me to fix your R's you'll try anything

Now I'll just wait and see if it works and if it doesn't, that means I'm better off without him.

It might be total rubbish but it made me feel better doing something.

Jo.