Jo, After reading your posts, I have long felt that Andy was using your girls to control you. And I totally agree that they will figure this out eventually. Is there an age where you live, that the girls can decide for themselves who they want to live with? In Michigan I think it is 12.
I'm glad that your are looking to make some changes to R with Andy. I truly don't feel that you can respect yourself or that anyone else can respect you if you just go with the flow and that is against what you believe. Doing that is poisonous and eventually you will hate yourself and resent him for it.
I wish you the best of luck and and my heart tells me that you deserve better than what Andy is able to offer you at the moment. That doesn't mean that he can't eventually be what you need, but he needs to do some changing. This needs to "finally" be on "your" terms, not his.
