Jo, I did not see you post today. I am a little concerned that your PMA is down today. Eventhough the trip to the ballet class and other activities did not meet your expetations, I can see why your PMA might be down. The ballet event was a small step to involve you more in the kids activities. You are right to feel left out though.
Quote:

I don't believe he has learnt anything from that. He still believes what he did was right and still would not increase my time with them and still, by all accounts, doesn't care for any of my opinions regarding them.


1. I don't believe he has learnt anything from that=most likely true.
2. He still believes what he did was right=most likely true.
3. by all accounts, (he)doesn't care for any of my opinions regarding them=most likely not exactly true. More along the lines of his way is best because he has an inveastment in time / the process / steps he developed on his own.
Quote:

If this doesn't work out, I will get no say in how my kids are brought up and I might as well walk off on them again because what it the point when I can't do anything anyway


JO, it might be true, but i can see you are projecting here (might be borrowing trouble). I suspect things will go better after you two live together and can connect more on day-to-day activities in many areas of your life, not just child care issues.

Even if Andy never lived with you, you will always be the kids mom/mum.

RE your birthday. I hope it goes better. It seems like the time you are with Andy and the kids are not involved, you have a better time. Am I right? I might suggest for now, so you get to boost your PMA, mostly work with Andy and make the kids secondary. This is with the thought of making your marrital relationship stronger so the mothering relationship eventually gets stronger when you two are living in the same house.

Would Andy go to counseling regarding the differences about child care issues?


OG Lou