I liked LA's comments. I just thought of a decent idea on the parenting thing: acting 'as-if' not in terms of couplehood but in terms of motherhood. Act as if you are their mother. Act as if you are successfully co-parenting with a man who can compromise or parent WITH you.
You'll need to take the lead on this, and to stay patient during these exchanges. But never disagree with him in front of the kids or allow him to challenge your mothering. Use this script, "Let's talk about this alone. Kids, stay here and (play, watch a movie..). Your father and I will talk about this and get back to you." This is you insisting on adulthood roles for the two of you, while he's stuck in "I'd like to be their cool "anything goes" buddy-friend-dad. You know better - that's not so great over the long run for the kids.
Feel free to insist that decisions are mutually decided, while allowing some difference of opinion (you taught me that, right? ). And consider which battles are worth fighting for (yes to permanent, heavy things like child tattoos, piercings, schooling, dating; not so much regarding lesser things like shirt color, type of cereal....).
How can you pamper yourself today, Jo? Sounds like you may need a nice dose of that?
). And consider which battles are worth fighting for (yes to permanent, heavy things like child tattoos, piercings, schooling, dating; not so much regarding lesser things like shirt color, type of cereal....). 