Sorry for the bad interaction. I know that would frustrate the heck out of me also. My ex does the same sort of thing...her way is the best because she's primary caregiver. She sometimes acts like the kids are her property and they are on loan to me during visitation.
Is there any way to express your frustration about this? Can you indicate that you want to feel like a mother in more than just name, but by action? That you want your feelings about child rearing taken into account?
Are all of these apparent slights on purpose? Or are you responding to percieved slights that your H is not even aware he's doing? It's hard not to be angry with this stuff, but have you looked hard at the sitch and put yourself in your husbands shoes to see if he's intentionally doing these things? Is there another way to get him to recognize that you have a say in your children's lives?
I'm struggling for suggestions. My only one is if you haven't told him how this all makes you feel then you should tell him. If he already knows and doesn't care then I don't know what to say. I don't think dropping out of your kids lives is the answer. Show him through actions that you are a good mother and can handle this as well as some ex-W or him.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
