annette, so sorry for the loss of your doggie. We buried our beloved Jessica two years ago out in the country at my house and I even said Kaddish for her! The other day I dreamed about her, that I picked her up and carried her. I still miss her so much.
You wrote
Quote: So I asked him if he was waiting for me to get home so I could help him take the box out where she would be burried. He said no, it would be done when I get home.
At that point, what did you say? To me, just from the way you recounted it, that would have been the place to say, "Wait for me. Don't put her in the ground, or at least don't cover her until I can get there to say goodbye." Then he could still sit there and cry privately until you got there.
But when he said, "No, the job will be done when you get home," what did you say? Or did he just say that and hang up before you got a chance to say anything?
I think those of you who are cutting him some slack about making it easier on annette are being too kind. Sure he's feeling bad, but did he give a thought to what her preference might be? Yeahm she could have said something, but he could have asked, too. Surely after this happened with the first dog, annette let him know she wanted to be included in the funeral process.
OTOH I have read some true horror stories about people's misguided efforts to be "helpful" and spare others a painful experience. One story was about a woman whose husband died. When she got home from the funeral, some of her female relatives had cleaned out his closet and gone through the house removing his possessions. It was as if he had never been there! The things people do to keep someone else from hurting---!
